Chinese Horoscope: May 2025
RAT Just because your best friend’s business was failing and you bought it at 40% of its value, doesn’t make you the bad guy, right? […]
Month: April 2025
We Chinese: Authorities Order North Korean Schools To Raise Rabbits To Feed Army
Because of a decades-long food shortage throughout the country, North Korean authorities have finally ordered all middle and high school students to participate in breeding […]
Chinese Spies Report Aimlessness, Depression, After Finding Advanced Spycraft Techniques Unnecessary In Trump Administration
By WAH NAHAmerican Correspondent Veteran spies worldwide have expressed dismay upon discovering their highly specialized training is no longer needed to extract secret information from […]
We Chinese: North Korean Officers Skimming Tobacco Rations From Soldiers
North Korean Army Officers have issued orders forbidding soldiers from collecting discarded cigarette butts so as to reclaim the unused tobacco for themselves, warning that […]
Glut of Cheap Plastic Junk Engulfs China After U.S. Applies Tariffs
By SHENG DANJIEConsumer Correspondent SHENZHEN — Just one week after the U.S. imposed sweeping tariffs on Chinese imports, provincial governors across China report being inundated […]
We Chinese: Officials Push Local Consumption Amid US-China Trade War
Government officials have begun implementing policies which they hope will boost domestic demand for locally made products intended for export to the U.S., as American […]
Official Report: Xi Jinping’s Family “Rich As Shit”
OFFICIAL REPORT By GONG CHANDANGOfficial Report Correspondent In a wild new report, it turns out Chinese President Xi Jinping and his family are “totally fucking […]
We Chinese: 65% of Chinese People To Be Obese by 2030, Report Says
Amid warnings that two-thirds of the Chinese population could be obese by 2030, the National Health Commission has begun a three-year program designed to address […]
We Chinese: Beijing Asks Citizens To Identify Separatists With New Online Tool
Beijing’s Taiwan Affairs Office has added a new tool to its website allowing citizens to report other people they suspect of supporting Taiwanese independence, with 323 […]
We Chinese: North Korea Recreated Parts of Seoul at Military Training Ground
A North Korean soldier captured by Ukrainian forces says that the North Korean army has a training facility where they have built mockup sections of […]