By Art Vandelay
BEIJING — Citing numerous reports of errors made by angry Chinese protesters during the past week, Chinese officials in a press release today cited internal quality control issues, reminding the world, “This is China.”
“As you know in West countries there have many chain of command can guarantee the quality of the good,” said Sun Xiaozi, Minister of Face, Re-education, and Frozen Exports. “But in China we haven’t regard for such matter.”
The comments came just days after large Chinese mobs, angry at the French, protested outside Tous Les Jour, a Korean bakery, and were seen burning Yugoslavian flags outside Carrefour stores.
“Working policy is extension of the education policy,” Sun said. “We have idiom, ‘The clever fox escapes the inspection.’ Many of the graduating class have passed their examinations, but do not let it fooled you.”
An article in China Daily today asked Chinese protesters to restrain themselves and help build the country in rational ways instead of anti-West murmuring and hip-shot boycotts. “Though I agree with the idea that we should do something rational to express our love for our country,” said China Daily user, Angel, in response to the article, “as a chinese I still will not go shopping in Carrefour resently.”
Any Chinese citizen whose “foolish behaviors cause harm to the Motherland are sent to Northeast ice prison for re-education on ice pack assembly line,” added Sun.
In response to the loss of face caused by the errors, Chinese elementary and secondary schools nationwide have had an additional four hours of class time added to their morning routines.
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