China’s new Internet Czar, Lu Wei, is visiting the US-China Internet Forum to seek a global consensus on Communist Party proposals for information control. How would the worldwide web change under Beijing?
- No more long loading times: Favorite sites are simply blocked
- People will think twice before posting any “anonymous” comments
- You never liked puns that much anyway
- Time wasting on Facebook, Instagram down 100 percent
- With both the NSA and China monitoring, no excuse for feeling lonely
- Blame missed deadlines on faulty Google services
- China frowns on ethics in all journalism, not just video games
- “Net neutrality” means online Swiss banking
- Trolling a respectable, patriotic duty
- Say goodbye to porn, hello to non-stop erotic pop-up ads
- Impress friends by talking about the “Deep Web,” meaning Twitter
- You’re not “ignorant.” You’re “spreading positive energy”
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