China urges calm after New Year fireworks provoke North Korea missile strike

By Rong Ren
Defense Correspondent

DALIAN (China Daily Show) – China’s leaders called for peace, calm and the resumption of talks today after an early Chinese New Year fireworks display near the North Korean border was apparently mistaken for aggressive military action.

North Korean artillery rained down over 400 uranium-enriched shells on the town of Chanhegong, Liaoning Province, after its townspeople let off firecrackers, Roman candles and sparklers during a pre-New Year outdoor dumpling festival.

Until yesterday, Chanhegong was a quiet fishing village in North-East China near the Port of Dandong, known for its clear sea and mackerel fishing, with a population of 160,000. As of this morning, Chanhegong is now a giant crater in the earth, known for its strong smell of death and two-headed fish, with a half-life of 72 years.

Despite reports of the devastating attack on Chinese soil, top officials and PLA officers showed no sign of wishing to retaliate, instead maintaining the usual line of diplomatic silence regarding its troubled neighbour and erstwhile ally.

“This is probably just a simple misunderstanding. We will talk about this with [North Korea leader] Kim Jong-il, as he always listens,” said Foreign Ministry spokesman Li Fu. “Probably sometime after New Year, though.”

crater
Migrant workers are being advised to save money and not return to Changhegong this New Year

Last year saw tensions raised on the Korean Peninsula, with the sinking of South Korean warship the Cheonan and an exchange of artillery fire over the small island of Yeonpyeong in the Yellow Sea, just south of the maritime border between the two Koreas. On both occasions, China, North Korea’s sole chief ally, remained silent, refusing to join in the chorus of ­international criticism and instead urging a diplomatic solution to resolving the tensions.

But today, world leaders are asking just what North Korea has to do to provoke any kind of response from its seemingly placid neighbour.

Earlier this month, two North Korean diplomats treated senior Chinese PLA officers to a Three Stooges vaudeville routine, slapping their heads, calling them “knuckleheads” and repeatedly tweaking the nose of one general while saying, “Nik, nik, nik.” The Stooges are among Kim’s favorite comedy acts and considered essential viewing in North Korea.

In December, North Korean heir-apparent Kim Jong-un is said to have commandeered a Chinese border train loaded with birthday presents and driven it around Hebei Province. “He was repeatedly tooting the horn, laughing and letting off gunshots into the air,” an eyewitness told China Daily Show

Both events were dismissed as “horseplay” by Foreign Ministry officials.

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