China Daily Show Launches Meme Coin
China Daily Show Converts Editorial Integrity into Fungible Asset, Loses #1 Satirical Ranking Amongst Entire Subscriber Base of Six Readers By JUAN REMEMBER MEFinancial Correspondent […]
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SOCIALISTS DESTROY AMERICA
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MSS Overwhelmed By Influx of Intelligence After Successful 100% Recruitment of Chinese Diaspora as Foreign Spies
“No detail too small,” says Party directive as direct mailers clog intelligence pipeline By SO SU MIState Security Correspondent BEIJING — The Ministry of State […]
President Trump Seals Trade Deals With Eternia, Dimension X, Island of Genosha
“It’s got everything—lava, bones, a guy screaming on a mountain,” Trump says of new Trump Tower Eternia project By GONGJI XUEPAIEconomics Correspondent WASHINGTON, D.C. (China […]
Chinese Spies Report Aimlessness, Depression, After Finding Advanced Spycraft Techniques Unnecessary In Trump Administration
By WAH NAHAmerican Correspondent Veteran spies worldwide have expressed dismay upon discovering their highly specialized training is no longer needed to extract secret information from […]
Glut of Cheap Plastic Junk Engulfs China After U.S. Applies Tariffs
By SHENG DANJIEConsumer Correspondent SHENZHEN — Just one week after the U.S. imposed sweeping tariffs on Chinese imports, provincial governors across China report being inundated […]
Official Report: Xi Jinping’s Family “Rich As Shit”
OFFICIAL REPORT By GONG CHANDANGOfficial Report Correspondent In a wild new report, it turns out Chinese President Xi Jinping and his family are “totally fucking […]
Bureaucratic Integrity Outbreak Strikes Zhengzhou, Thwarts Bribery Attempt
By WUDE WUXIN MEIGUORENCorruption Correspondent Local father Guo Zhenyuan expressed disbelief Thursday after failing to locate even one corrupt official willing to accept a bribe […]
Chinese Military To Surprise Taiwan By Invading One Day Earlier Than Expected
By JUE WUEYIDefense Correspondent The People’s Liberation Army Navy tries to find a date that works for everyone As the world braces for a Chinese […]
China Daily Show Collapses Following Termination of Radio Free Asia
By XIE XUAJournalism Correspondent In a devastating blow to its survival, China Daily Show has learned that the U.S. government has terminated federal funding for […]