Mirror Universe Scientists’ Plan To Clone Kim Jong Un Go Awry
Scholars Agree: Evil Mirror Universe Probably Includes Your Boss, Too By MEI WENTINews Correspondent BEIJING — A scheme by scientists from United Korea in the […]
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Chinese Navy Says It Conducted ‘Routine Patrol’ of Earth—Mars Orbit
Beijing Cites 17th-Century Observatory Records As Binding Interplanetary Law By KONGJIAN JINGSAISpace Correspondent MARS ORBIT — The Chinese Space Navy announced Thursday it had completed a […]
China Releases Photo of Unknown Technology
People Already Lining Up On The Chance The Technology Would Be Available For Purchase By QUANPAN FOUREN & BU SHIWOTechnology Correspondents SHANGHAI — China released […]
China Daily Show to be Added to Hang Seng Index
CDS Index Entry Seen as Blow to Western Financial Hegemony By NGO NGUJournalism Correspondent HONG KONG — China Daily Show (HSI: 8732.HK) will be added […]
Value of Face Plummets Across Mainland China
Central Bank Denies Reports of Shadow Market in Discarded Honorifics By Ruan ShiliCultural Correspondent BEIJING — The value of face (面子) (600FCE.SS) has collapsed across […]
Chinese Navy, Coast Guard, and Philippines Coast Guard Recreate Iconic ‘Star Destroyer Collision Scene’ From “The Empire Strikes Back” In Viral Prank
Culture Ministry Proposes Full Remake of The Phantom Menace to “Show Proper Portrayal of Trade Disputes.” By HAI SHANG SHILISouth China Seas Correspondent SCARBOROUGH SHOAL […]
Rat Who Claimed Ancestral Links To 15th-Century Scroll Painting Admits Lie
Discredited Lao Now Says Scroll Rat Was “Probably a Composite Character,” And Not Based On Any Specific Individual By BO GUAGUAWildlife Correspondent NANJING — A […]
China Daily Show Launches Meme Coin
China Daily Show Converts Editorial Integrity into Fungible Asset, Loses #1 Satirical Ranking Amongst Entire Subscriber Base of Six Readers By JUAN REMEMBER MEFinancial Correspondent […]
SOCIALISTS DESTROY AMERICA
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MSS Overwhelmed By Influx of Intelligence After Successful 100% Recruitment of Chinese Diaspora as Foreign Spies
“No detail too small,” says Party directive as direct mailers clog intelligence pipeline By SO SU MIState Security Correspondent BEIJING — The Ministry of State […]