Chinese Officials Struggle To Defend Self-Ascribed ‘Near-Arctic’ Status
“China Insists ‘Arctic Right There’ Once Russia Removed From Map By WING WONG WANGForeign Affairs Correspondent HAIKOU, HAINAN — Chinese Foreign Affairs Minister Wang Yi […]
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U.S. Comedian Trae Crowder To Push “Commie Shit” In $500k Monthly Deal With Chinese Authorities
Officials Praise Crowder’s “Pre-Existing Compatibility With Collective Thought” By WAH NAHAmerican Correspondent LOS ANGELES — Chinese officials confirmed Monday that they have entered into a […]
China “Could Totally Do What The U.S. Just Did, But In Taiwan,” Boasts Xi
China Says Taiwan’s Proximity Makes Everything Easier Except The Hard Parts By WEI WU WEI WUInternational Correspondent BEIJING — Moments after President Xi Jinping finished […]
Beijing Tells Seoul To Chill On North Korea’s Nuclear Programme
Report of Shots Fired on 33rd Floor By HU MIDiplomacy Correspondent SHANGHAI — During recent diplomatic discussions between China and South Korea over North Korea’s […]
Local Man Forced To Add Home Beef Embargo After Wife Sneaks Imports
Wife Says Market Visits Were “Purely for Comparison Purposes By MAN MANCHIFood & Drink Correspondent HUZHONG — Multiple sources confirm a local man, Lau Chi-wai, […]
Official Report: Beijing Constantly Angry
Foreign Countries Continue To Ruin Mood At CCP Headquarters By NING NING PAOBeijing and Dessert Correspondent BEIJING — A new report by the Pakin Atoll […]
Chinese Mining Companies Release Environmental Disaster Schedule
The Program Is Recognized As The Next Step In ‘Environmentalism With Chinese Characteristics’ By Feichang WuranEnvironment Correspondent LUSAKA, Zambia — China’s Ministries of Foreign Affairs […]
Unnamed Country Compared To North Korea
Pyongyang Warns Against Foreign Obsession With Safe Drinking Water By WEI WU WEI WUInternational Correspondent The country, rated ‘Bad, But Not As Bad As North […]
Lost Aircraft Carrier, Fujian, Wanders South China Sea Looking For A Home
Homeless Carrier Seen Sleeping Under Bridges, Writing Poetry About the Sea By HAI SHANG SHILISouth China Seas Correspondent SOUTH CHINA SEA — China’s newest aircraft […]
Mirror Universe Scientists’ Plan To Clone Kim Jong Un Go Awry
Scholars Agree: Evil Mirror Universe Probably Includes Your Boss, Too By MEI WENTINews Correspondent BEIJING — A scheme by scientists from United Korea in the […]