Beijing has denounced its former cyberspace czar Lu Wei as a “typical two-faced man” who “severely polluted the political ecology… and jeopardized the party’s efforts for the healthy development of the internet.”
Lu is now being investigated for alleged corruption. China Daily Show prints the full charge sheet below:
- Cracked down on Internet access too much, but also not enough
- Was creepy even around guys
- Breached informal agreement by blocking XVideo.com
- Overheard saying “I’d do her” about Madam Peng Liyuan during important gala
- Once recommended a noodle place that gave Xi the shits for weeks
- Deleted funny Weibo account that everyone really liked
- Always made eye contact for just slightly too long
- Embarrassing Facebook posts that you had to ‘like’
- Severely abused his position to bogart the breast milk
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