Douchebags relax as #MeToo movement sputters in China
By MEI DUGender Correspondent BEIJING (China Daily Show) — It was “touch and go” for a while, jokes tech entrepreneur Wang Men, as he relaxes […]
beijing
‘Our mousetrap is open,’ Xi assures markets
By XIA DAEconomic Correspondent BOAO — China’s economy welcomes foreign investment, President Xi Jinping has assured overseas businesses, comparing it to a “vast mousetrap — […]
Which Chinese dynasty are you?
By XI MEITEIWestern Media Correspondent Boasting nearly 5,000 aeons of history, China is a country that has been uninterruptedly ruled by several different major dynasties, […]
It’s Started, People! President Xi Jinping Stabbed a Waitress to Death at China’s Parliament and Everyone Just Nervously Applauded
All Chinese people love the “Two Sessions” period, in which unelected officials from all around the country convene in the capital to do whatever they’re […]
China to reopen next week as Qing-style authoritarian shopping mall
By WEINI PUDynasty Correspondent (BEIJING) — China’s State Council has announced plans to close the mainland for a short period, and re-open as a Qing-style […]
Chinese billionaires sing and dance at Politburo Christmas party
By XI WIZNew Era Correspondent BEIJING (China Daily Show) — A procession of Chinese billionaires from the worlds of tech, finance, and real estate performed […]
‘China not to blame’: China
By HU MIDiplomacy Correspondent BEIJING (China Daily Show) – China should not be blamed for something, officials today confirmed, cautioning other countries not to interfere […]
Those Lu Wei corruption charges in full
Lu was considered “shady as fuck” even by Politburo standards: Source Beijing has denounced its former cyberspace czar Lu Wei as a “typical two-faced man” […]
Wealthy white guy wonders where it all went so right
BEIJING (China Daily Show) – Studying the Chinese system, Daniel Balls, a white scholar, had just one question: Why have I been so lucky? The […]
China expert ready to make confident, completely wrong predictions
BEIJING (China Daily Show) – An expert on Chinese politics is preparing to make a wide-ranging variety of confident and completely hopeless predictions, it was […]