WASHINGTON (China Daily Show) — China’s ambassador to the US has expressed “grave and solemn disappointment” in the relationship, after inadvertently dining at PF Chang’s.
The diplomatic debacle began after Ambassador Qin Gang told colleagues he “fancied a spot of lunch” between warm-hearted visits to a local food court and signing-off spicy tweets about the West.
A member of the public suggested a visit to Chang’s, telling Qin’s team the national eatery was locally regarded as “symbolic of US-China relations.”
Unfortunately, that recommendation may have proved a little too on-the-nose.
The trouble began after Qin’s team was urged to order the Walnut Shrimp with Melon, with spicy dip.
The situation deteriorated completely after a plate of local Chang’s special, Long Life Noodle and Prawn, ordered for the table, prompted calls of “death to the US” — including some from local diners.
While reviews of PF Chang’s are rarely positive nationwide, executives at the franchise argue it’s only the third time an order of egg-fried rice has caused a major international incident in recent weeks.
PF Chang’s contracts state local staff are legally responsible for whatever happens after an order is questioned at any Chang’s franchise.
While staff say their orders are “just to microwave the damn stuff,” legal experts say even a newly right-wing Supreme Court is unlikely to uphold any ruling on Chang’s sour-cream rolls.
“I do know Roberts and Thomas are diehard Panda Express,” a court aide told China Daily Show.
Witnesses report that Ambassador Qin told onlookers his “people will not stand for this,” as he disgorged wads of partially chewed General Tso’s Chicken into a napkin, before bellowing “fuwuyuan” at a nearby television.
As Qin staggered into the nearest cubicle, he warned potential infants to “never underestimate the firm resolve of the Chinese people,” before spewing a full platter of undigested Sesame Beef safely into the bowl.
Hundreds of bad reviews, recently posted on Yelp, TripAdvisor, as well as other sites, may just as likely be “grassroots dunks.”
But analysts have detected several articles about cultural appropriation being edited at the New York Times, Vice, and other vulnerable institutions.
While Gang labelled the food “a cultural insult,” representatives from PF Chang’s described the meal as “completely normal.”
Witnesses say Qin’s rage only subsided after he was whisked back to the nearest consulate, where an impromptu performance of regional dancing had been prepared.
“We had to borrow some interns from the Turkish embassy, and pay them triple,” an embassy aide told CDS. “But it was worth it. Within minutes of the ethnic performance, Qin was back in a blissful stasis.”
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