Hong Kong Officials Blame South Korea for Dangerous Viral Democracy Transmission

By DU QISHI
Health Correspondent

Scattered outbreaks of the so-called “Democracy Virus” have been reported throughout neighborhoods of Hong Kong, according to health officials. Authorities warn that declining immunity due to low Democracy Vaccine uptake may have contributed to the rapid spread.

Using contact tracing, authorities believe the highly contagious virus was first transmitted in the Sham Shui Po neighborhood of Kowloon by a local university student who recently visited South Korea.

After interviewing residents, officials concluded that upon returning from South Korea—a country where democracy is dangerously on the rise—the student recklessly engaged in high-risk behavior, asking his classmates if they had opinions about the quality of their professors.

Any one of these people could be infected with the desire to make their voice heard

“This conversation caused another student to want to create an online poll ranking all the professors in the Civil Engineering Department,” explained Dr. Ronald Lam Man-kin, Hong Kong Health Director. “This is obviously concerning, as wanting to create polls is a classic symptom of the Democracy Virus. People’s feelings can be hurt, and hurt feelings cause disharmony.”

Officials stress that the outbreak could have been easily prevented had residents kept up with their regular Democracy Vaccine boosters, a government-approved treatment designed to suppress dangerous urges like critical thinking, unregulated decision-making, and forming opinions without prior clearance. But in recent years, immunization rates have dropped to concerning levels.

“We have invested heavily in prevention efforts—through patriotic education, through security laws, through removing troubling materials from libraries,” said a government spokesperson. “Yet some residents simply refuse to develop the proper immunity. They mistakenly believe that avoiding political discussions or averting their gaze when passing a newsstand is enough to protect them. But democracy doesn’t work like that—it spreads through exposure.”

HK_cityscape_2
Chinese officials said they would wait to decide if it was necessary to nuke Hong Kong from orbit to prevent the spread of the democracy virus

According to inside sources, the exact number of infections remains unclear, but potentially thousands of students may have been exposed to the online poll. In the days following, small groups were seen voting on what movies to watch over the weekend, or whether dining in or getting takeaway was the better option after completing a school project—clear signs of escalating transmission.

The virus spread quickly to other neighborhoods, where groups of unruly residents began demanding that absentee landlords address urgent maintenance problems. Some apartment complexes even held votes to elect a representative tasked with ensuring repairs were completed, a dangerous escalation that experts fear could lead to further community-based decision-making.

“As paying residents, we are sick and tired of landlords ignoring our demands that leaky pipes be fixed or unsafe stairwells be repaired. We do not want our grandmothers stumbling through uneven hallways when the lights are burned out,” fumed one newly ‘elected’ apartment representative. “We have a right to a clean and safe building. We might have other rights too—rights that extend beyond just our apartment buildings. Maybe I’ll consult with those who elected me and see what they think.”

Health officials stress that the outbreak remains contained for now, but prevention efforts must be stepped up.

“We must not misunderstand the situation. These people are not being affected by ‘democracy’ per se,” insisted Professor Lo Chung-mau, Hong Kong Health Secretary. “Rather, they are experiencing a temporary lapse in social harmony, brought on by external influences. We urge all citizens to remain vigilant and report any signs of unapproved decision-making to the appropriate authorities before it spirals into something more serious.”

To curb the spread, authorities have launched a citywide initiative encouraging residents to engage in preemptive self-censorship and limit exposure to high-risk concepts like fairness, accountability, or representation. Experts suggest that regular exposure to state-approved media and strict avoidance of books containing words like “election,” “debate,” or “opinion” may help keep infection rates low.

Additionally, the Hong Kong Health Bureau has issued new public guidance for those who suspect they may be infected. “Residents experiencing early symptoms—such as asking ‘What do you think?’ or attempting to tabulate group preferences—are urged to self-isolate and seek immediate ideological realignment resources,” the advisory warns. “In severe cases, individuals may develop an uncontrollable urge to sign petitions, demand transparency, or even propose governance changes. If you or a loved one exhibit such symptoms, contact authorities immediately.”

At press time, Hong Kong officials were studying the United States’ response, where a nearly 250-year democracy pandemic had seemingly been overcome in just over a month under the new health measures of Donald Trump.

Got a tip? Contact us at cds@chinadailyshow.net

Follow this and other leading China news at @chinadailyshow on Twitter