Chinese billionaires sing and dance at Politburo Christmas party

By XI WIZ
New Era Correspondent

BEIJING (China Daily Show) — A procession of Chinese billionaires from the worlds of tech, finance, and real estate performed an hour-long revue of skits, songs and sobbing pleas for mercy at the annual Politburo Christmas party this week.

Watched by an impassive panel of black-suited leaders, all wearing red ties, Tencent chairman Huateng ‘Pony’ Ma — whose worth is estimated at $24.9 billion — performed ‘My Company Belongs to You,’ before pledging $75 million to the Xi Jinping Migrant Hearts Foundation. He left the stage to silence.

Ma’s performance was followed by Dalian Wanda’s Wang Jianlin ($31.3 billion) who walked gravely onstage, performed a deep ceremonial bow, then remained motionless for nearly 25 minutes, before a series of scattered claps acknowledged his remarkable act of obeisance.

While Baidu’s Robin Li ($13.3 billion) carefully washed and dried the feet of all seven leading bureaucrats, mining magnate Wang Wenyin ($14 billion) and SF Holdings boss Wang Wei ($15.9 billion) performed a risqué and rambunctious cabaret, entitled ‘We’d Be Nothing Without the Benign Authority of the Party,’ which boasted a specially adapted medley from the musical Grease — including ‘Xi’s the One That I Want,’ ‘Xi’s Lightning’ and ‘Hopelessly Devoted to Xi’ — collectively intended to evoke “the Fifties Spirit.”

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The evening was capped by a video address from Alibaba’s Jack Ma, speaking from an undisclosed location and wearing a gold mask, who pledged to never purchase any foreign companies again without permission, pleaded with the other assembled entrepreneurs to put in a good word for him, and began reminding his audience of the true spirit of Christmas, before General Secretary Xi Jinping silenced Ma’s broadcast via remote control.

The festive performance — which was this year dedicated to missing insurance mogul Wu Xiaohui of the Anbang Group— has become something of an annual tradition for China’s richest men, beginning when Gome tycoon Huang Guangyu performed a tongue-in-cheek rendition of ‘Video Killed the Radio Star’ at a 2008 investors’ meeting, and was promptly arrested for stock-market manipulation.

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