People Already Lining Up On The Chance The Technology Would Be Available For Purchase
By QUANPAN FOUREN & BU SHIWO
Technology Correspondents
SHANGHAI — China released a new photo today of an unknown type of technology. The blurry image, first seen circulating on social media, shows a dark shape against a pale background, possibly a drone in flight, a new model of flatscreen television in a showroom, or a top secret prototype of an industrial manufacturing machine already in use on a shopfloor, experts theorised.
The photo, which could not be verified, despite the use of expensive technology, depicts a form with “straight lines, and hard angles, but also a curve,” said Prof. Liang Meixuan of the Shenzhen Institute of Advanced Studies, nodding seriously. “Believe me, I know a curve when I see one.”
“While some experts are sure it is one type of technology, it could in fact be an entirely different type of technology,” said Dr. Chen Guoliang of the Chinese Academy of Engineering, pointing to a zoomed-in section of the photo that resolved only into large blocks of identical pixels. “I even printed it out as a 150-centimeter poster to study in further detail.”
Although the image may represent a new PLA stealth drone, possibly the CH-7, rumors in Shanghai suggested it could also be a leaked photo of Huawei’s Mate XT 2 smartphone. “Frankly, this indecipherable image could be that,” said engineer Zhao Yufeng, stroking his chin. “Honestly, it could be anything else, too. What we do know is that it’s highly relevant, and so our speculation must continue. I’ve already booked time on the Soft X-ray Free Electron Laser to investigate further.”
After running the photo through state-of-the-art AI recognition programs, submitting it to top-level state security review, and attempting to decrypt it with a classified quantum computer, experts cautioned they were still unable to determine the time of capture, the location, the purpose of the photograph, the identity of the photographer, whether it was taken indoors or outdoors, or even which direction the camera had been facing.
At press time, Dong Wenhua was wondering why an accidental photo of his kitchen counter was going viral.
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